So I guess this is where I tell you a little about myself? Well, I am a 49 year old divorced father of six. I work part time at the local petting zoo recruiter, but I’m pretty much in semi-retirement now. At night I moonlight as an amateur politico in my own mind, replaying historic campaigns with the perfect 20/20 vision of hindsight. Occassionally I’ll go out for breakfast, but I still only get Cheerios - plain. I’m allergic to my dog, so I hate her, but she loves me, so it’s a fuckin’ crazy relationship. I like popcorn, chocolate, meatballs, and turtle soup. All mixed together. Plus I like Karaoke… a lot. One time I played baseball; it really wasn’t anything special - I’m just putting it in here so that I look well-rounded. I’m hooked on phonics, I know a few lines from Office Space, and when I’m feeling adventurous I will tune into the 6 o’clock news to catch a good human-interest story. I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t ride in the HOV lane with a medium-sized bullfrog as my lone passenger. So I won’t. I write Christmas cards in July, I smoke Cuban cigars in June, and I bring my kids to school sometimes, too. They’re good people, but they’re selfish and have too many damn toys. In fact, to clear some space around the house, I should sell those things on eBay. But I’m keeping the toys for myself.