As you can see from the 90-day karaoke blogometer, the end of September / early October can be a dry season for karaoke (and karaoke blogging). This is nothing new, but I figured I ought to make this post since I get so many emails from novices about this subject.

To clarify: Halloween is just around the corner, so people are resting their vocal chords. Give it a few weeks, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that your local karaoke joints (like Boardwalk 11 in Los Angeles) will again be filled with the usual karaoke revelry. Except this time the costumed lunatics will be out in FULL FORCE, so please be careful.

When you say “Wichita Falls”, I used to think of dusty cowboy country. Now when you say “Wichita Falls,” I say DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT! Because Wichita Falls, TX is that CrAzEE.

For quality Friday night karaoke, head to Cafe Giovanni down on Missile Road. It’s next to the old church - you can’t miss it. If Gladys is singing, you pretty much just scored $90 concert tix for free because that is how awesome she is. Tell her Bobby says “Hi.”

Looney Toones karaoke has a lock on Wichita Falls, which is fine by me. On Sunday and Wednesday, they’re up at Double Deuce slinging dope rhymes, and then they turn it down a notch for the old folks at Beer Thirty on Thursdays (Sinatra wanna-be’s in full effect). If you go there, drink a few of their first class whiskey sours and belt out a little Bon Jovi for Uncle Bobby.

If you know anything at all about Wichita Falls, I need not remind you that Bad Girl Karaoke at Haystack is awesome PG-13 rated fun. Across the street from Beer Thirty, you’ll find all the karaoke one man needs.

And lastly, while I was in town, I was able to squeeze in one more bar. J.R.’S PLACE on Texas Highway 240 - let’s just say that’s about as much fun as watching someone drown in lead-based paint, thanks in part to the fact that they haven’t updated their karaoke catalog since 1944. Update: They have new management so this may be better now.

In short, just because I had a sucky time at J.R.’s Place, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time in Wichita Falls, or “The WF” as other North Texans call it. I did in fact find more than a few karaoke lifers there, and I appreciated the intellectual spirit that seemed to permeate throughout… much like a foul stench in a small closet.

If you make this trip, heed the advice of the pretty bartender who works down at the karaoke bar, Koolerz, on East Scott Street… when she was referring to everyday life in Wichita Falls:
“Karaoke in the blood, whiskey on the breath.”